


A Conversation

by bearprincess



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Anxiety Disorder, Fluff, Gender Dysphoria, M/M, Trans Character, Vaginal Penetration, casual mention of cutting, porn that is fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-07
Updated: 2013-08-07
Packaged: 2017-12-22 16:47:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/915611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bearprincess/pseuds/bearprincess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carlos is almost as enamored with Cecil as Cecil is with him, but before their relationship takes another step Carlos needs Cecil to know a little more about him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Conversation

At first Carlos had been overwhelmed by Night Vale. He vaguely remembered wanting a discovery that would kickstart his doctoral thesis. What he and his team of scientists had were several thousand findings with no discernible strength in the rest of the world’s scientific community. He felt like his job as a Night Vale scientist was a cruel joke created by a cruel god and could actually entertain the possibility now that he had been properly and forcibly introduced to Night Valean pantheism. When everything was alien and the rules he’d been theoretically educated about didn’t matter, Carlos had no chance of feeling useful.

But then there was Cecil. Cecil, with his wonderful voice and hopeless romanticism. That was an entirely different kind of project, an entirely different kind of overwhelming. Carlos had never been called perfect and beautiful by anyone before. Cecil had inadvertently taught him more about Night Vale than Carlos could hope to learn himself; the right amount of skepticism to have, various procedural techniques--such as going the speed limit--that many took for granted, and how much hope Carlos should hold close. Cecil was hope. It was too early in their relationship for such things but Carlos was pretty sure he loved him. It made much more sense than not being in love with him and Carlos had learned which things to question.

Carlos was interrupted from his daily introspection by a clicking sound from his radio. He never turned it on, and yet he always heard what he needed to hear. Right now [the weather](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wlnR_U8K1rs) was on and it was ambient and easy to listen to albeit sort of eerie. Carlos had been expecting for the weather to be weather when he had first listened to the late night radio show, and then after he started dating Cecil he was totally braced for love songs from every era, especially ones he hadn’t heard of. But the weather, like Cecil, remained just like it was. Their relationship hadn’t changed any of it and Carlos liked it that way.

There was a knock at the door. Instinctively he grabbed a non-functioning clock from his desk with plans to use it as a weapon, but then he remembered that Cecil had a break longer than the time the weather would seem to allow when it started playing. Still, he couldn’t stop the panic that settled over him; his palms were sweaty and he had to think about breathing to do it correctly.

“Hello~? May I come in?” After a whole month of dating Cecil still sounded absolutely lovestruck. As fast as he had panicked Carlos calmed hearing him outside. He unlocked the door and let Cecil in after he got a good look at his bright black eyes to ensure he wasn’t temporarily possessed. Carlos knew the signs.

As soon as Cecil stepped in Carlos pinned him against the door and gave him a warm, welcoming kiss. Everything was electric and new; Carlos found his fingertips under the hem of Cecil’s shirt and that must have been what was making Cecil pant like that, which was equal parts pitiful and adorable. Just that little could do so much to him. Carlos pressed his palms into Cecil’s hips and Cecil whined. He wondered how long it had been for Cecil. It had occurred to him to ask but that seemed like the sort of thing you asked immediately before planning on sleeping together, and Carlos didn’t want to assume anything. For now Cecil tasted dry and sweet, like tea leaves and smoke. Instead of quenching his thirst, Cecil’s kisses only made Carlos thirstier.

Cecil had to put his hands on Carlos’s shoulders and push him away to get him to stop. “Hi,” Cecil said simply. Carlos thought it was adorable how Cecil got reduced to one syllable iterations around him.

“Hi. Sorry, was that—too much? I just thought you came over here for it, but you know what they say about assumptions. Probably illegal, come to think of it,” Carlos said. Cecil tittered almost drunkenly and pulled Carlos in to kiss him.

He’d have to tell Cecil soon, he thought as it was his turn to get pressed into the door. He wasn’t dreading it so much as he wanted it to already have happened. Cecil parted his thighs with his knee and Carlos groaned and squeezed his hip, mffing against his mouth. He pulled away. “St-stop.”

Cecil, God bless Cecil, he all but recoiled the second Carlos asked. Carlos kissed his fingers to show him it was okay, which made Cecil turn a pretty shade of purplish pink (somehow, even though his skin was pretty dark--it was sort of like glowing.) “Is something the matter?”

Carlos’s body was saying yes but his mind was saying absolutely not. “Not at all! Nothing you did, anyway. But. Let me show you,” Carlos said, locking the door behind Cecil. He could almost feel Cecil’s hair stand up as he shivered under Carlos’s hands. Carlos kissed him again and then stood in the middle of the room. He had Cecil’s rapt attention, which made him smile. Slowly he took off his lab coat and pulled up at the hem of his shirt. He could hear Cecil take in a big breath like every inch of him was sacred and that made Carlos get hot. When his shirt was off he stood there a little awkwardly, waiting for Cecil to say something.

“Oh,” Cecil said softly, bringing his fingertips up to barely brush over the  skin right on his ribs. It tickled a little, but mostly Carlos watched him intently. No one had touched him like that in a long time. Carlos sighed and touched down Cecil’s arms. He loved the way Cecil’s reddish skin looked against his dark brown, but he could melt into how gentle he was.

There were a lot of scars in Night Vale. Where things didn’t match up the world tried to jam them together and left a lot of tissue. In the strangest way it was comforting to Carlos. His body had many scars—his scabby knees from baseball, a few cuts up his arm that he had put there accidentally and intentionally, and two thick, ropey ones on his chest. The dark pectoral scars were actually his favorite, reminders of the changes to his body and mind. He liked to think that coming to terms with his gender was something that gave him strength and hope and explained certain experiences in his life. Carlos lived for explanations. Spirituality had coursed through medical journals, Audubon Society bird watching guides, anatomy coloring books, and Shark Week.

“You’re so beautiful, Carlos,” Cecil said gently. The smooth pads of his thumbs traced the scars up to his nipples and Carlos wanted to die. He kissed Cecil’s breastbone. Cecil was about head and shoulders taller than him but Carlos didn’t feel small. Instead he felt like the most important person in the world. “I have to go. Station management will not be pleased if I’m not back before the weather is over.”

Carlos almost pouted but composed himself because he was a grown man and a scientist. He unlocked the door, but as Cecil went to walk out Carlos caught his arm. “Come over later. I mean, if you want,” Carlos said.

Cecil looked like someone had just told him he’d won the lottery with a really ridiculous wide grin on his face that Carlos couldn’t help but love. “Nothing could make me happier.” Carlos got a kiss on the cheek before Cecil vanished in a cloud of gray haze that was only a little worrisome.

He knew from experience the rest of Cecil’s show wouldn’t take very long, so he got to busy himself by frantically cleaning. He put his shirt back on and then his lab coat. He realized that Cecil hadn’t actually said anything about the scars, which made him wonder if it was a “things unsaid” kind of situation or Cecil didn’t know what top surgery was. Cecil didn’t know mountains existed a month ago and was still pretty skeptical. Carlos hesitated to mention how much it snowed where he was from.

He smiled as Cecil comforted the town in his final words with his mellow, slow voice. Carlos had thought about that voice a lot. Things like how pretty he sounded when they kissed just a little too long. Carlos wanted Cecil, and he got him hot under the collar to consider they might get to explore tonight. But first they had to have A Conversation. That was imperative. Nothing for Cecil was going to be a surprise.

Carlos made them both boxed macaroni in the microwave and just as he finished Cecil came in without knocking. He set the steaming bowls on down on the cramped little table next to the door and leaned up to give him a big hug in the doorway. Carlos kissed and sucked on his neck and Cecil groaned so prettily that he would have continued if there wasn’t Kraft macaroni in danger of strange bacteria.

“Food,” Carlos said. Yes, this was going to go very well. He sat down at the table, swallowed, and rubbed at his hot cheeks like he could chase the flush away. It wasn’t helping that Cecil was propped up on one hand staring at him. He pulled at his collar again. “Cecil.”

“Yes?” His voice rose at the end like a true valley girl.

“I really like you.” Carlos smiled and put his hand in Cecil’s as Cecil absolutely melted across from him. “Things have been going very well, and I’d like you to spend the night if, if you want to.”

Cecil nodded so fast Carlos was actually concerned, but then he was giggling and knocking his knobbly knees on the bottom of the table and Carlos figured he was alright. For a while they ate their macaroni in peace, neither of them looking at the other in the eyes. It was refreshing to eat something so familiar, to feel Cecil’s smooth skin trace all his little callouses. Every time he looked at Cecil, Cecil broke into a big grin and so did Carlos, and soon they were both giggling in anticipation.

Cecil sat straight up all of the sudden and let go of Carlos’s hand. “Did you file a report for when I visited during the weather?”

A cold chill went up Carlos’s spine and he stuttered as he said, “No, I forgot, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry--” He suddenly felt light-headed, heart beating a million miles a minute thinking about what the City Council could do to him or worse, Cecil.

Cecil shushed him and held his hand again. “It’s alright. I mean, it’s not like they weren’t watching,” he said offhandedly. Carlos looked around the perimeter of the room in a fit of paranoia but it only made him shorter of breath because he didn’t know what to look for. Suppose Cecil already knew...? Carlos didn’t want to entertain that thought; Cecil probably would have said something. Probably. Carlos clutched his own face as a fit of anxiety took over. “Carlos?”

“Yes?” Carlos replied, a bit strained. He looked at his hands and took several long breaths and, to his credit, Cecil didn’t interrupt him. Cecil only held his hand a little tighter as he came back down. “I’m fine. Um, Cecil? About those scars I showed you earlier. I had top surgery about five years ago.”

“You mean you’re someone else from the chest down? Or from the chest up? Wait, that wouldn’t make sense, it’d have to be from the chest down because your brain dictates who you are, right? Or is your brain... somewhere else...?”

Carlos squeezed his hand before he got on more of a tangent. “ _Cecil._ I’m transgender.”

“Oh, right.” Cecil snorted--Carlos could sense the nervousness--and he touched Carlos lightly on the shoulder. “I mean, I suppose that is slightly more likely. I’m not trying to laugh at you--”

Carlos leaned over the table and kissed him. When he thought he was done kissing him, he kissed him again. Cecil was absolutely pliant, leaning like a willow into him. Carlos sighed when he felt Cecil’s long fingers in his hair, but he had to pull away. “S-so. I don’t plan on having bottom surgery, though there are changes from the hormones and. Pumping. And things,” he said, waving his hands around and wishing he could be more specific. “Is that okay?”

Cecil caressed his face and smiled genuinely before kissing him again. “You’re perfect,” Cecil said, and every weight on Carlos’s shoulders fell to the floor. Reluctantly, Carlos got up to clean the dishes in the sink and put them in the locked cupboard above, and as he cleaned up Cecil hugged him from behind and rested his head on his shoulder. Carlos even got some neck kisses that made him feel all warm and gushy. When he was all done he turned around and kissed him harder than before, producing a nice little squeak from Cecil’s mouth. Carlos pulled up at Cecil’s godawful [cat sweater](http://favim.com/image/336334/) and Cecil put his arms straight up in the air. Carlos had to make Cecil lean to take it all the way off; at full extension Cecil’s fingertips brushed the low ceiling.

He was beautiful. Lean but not exactly skin and bones, a little bit of smooth muscle to his abdomen and arms. Carlos touched each muscle group and named them under his breath. His reddish-brown skin was tattooed all the way up his arms in strange black whorls and patterns that seemed to shift every time Carlos looked at it a different way. “You’re beautiful, too.” The pads of his thumbs traced every one and Cecil literally purred with delight. Carlos could work with that. Cecil’s so-tight-they-looked-painted-on faux snakeskin pants didn’t hide a damn thing, either. He was ever-so-slightly trembling, which was adorable but also really sexy. “We should get out of the lab. Shared space, you know?” Carlos said. Cecil clung to his arm and Carlos laughed as he led the way to his dorm-room-like bedroom situated next to his own private bathroom. While Night Vale had its ups and downs, ultimately it was oddly accommodating. Carlos wasted no time gently guiding Cecil over the barrier to his room.

When they sat in the bed together, Cecil snapped to attention and pulled off Carlos’s shirt and crowded him in up next to the headboard as they made out. Besides the tattoos Cecil seemed fairly normal; his ears were too big and his smile was crooked and his spine poked out of his thin back but those were all cosmetic things and Carlos loved them all. Carlos had been on the lookout for abnormalities from the get-go which made him feel a little bad but it was better to expect it. Carlos just hoped he hadn’t been inspecting too obviously. He palmed Cecil through his pants and Cecil squeaked like a mouse, easily one of the cutest things Carlos had ever heard. If Cecil was going to be this wiggly and adorable the whole time it was going to be really hard to fuck him. Somehow Carlos thought he would persevere.

They stopped kissing long enough to get each other out of their pants. Now that this was Really Happening Carlos was worried about having a panic attack again, which logically only made him more likely to have a panic attack. He thought Cecil could sense it, somehow, because instead of being rough, he was gently caressing Carlos’s cheek with the back of his hand and not saying anything. He looked so content that it made Carlos feel even hotter under the skin. Carlos pecked him on the cheek, sat back against the headboard next to Cecil, and wrapped his fingers in Cecil’s. He had to take a breather. It was nice; all they did was listen to cars jet past on the freeway and stars scrape the night sky in the space of the void. Cecil’s heartbeat pulsed against Carlos’s fingers, steady and calm, and Carlos relaxed and let his head rest on Cecil’s shoulder.

When an appropriate amount of time passed Carlos kissed Cecil and tugged him by his lanky arms to be mostly on top of himself. It felt pretty awesome to be able to throw Cecil around, and he certainly wasn’t objecting--Cecil’s kisses always got deeper the rougher Carlos got. He pressed his knee between Cecil’s long legs and Cecil keened against his neck. Undoubtedly Carlos was turned on by how noisy Cecil was; he felt wet against his boxers and he could smell it, which made him a little self-conscious. Cecil reached up to touch Carlos’s swollen cock and back to his lips and front hole through his boxers, making Carlos groan at a fairly high decibel; it had just been so long. All the dragging out had made him very over-sensitive.

“I want to do everything to you,” Cecil whispered, and Carlos groaned even louder. Cecil’s hand cupped his jaw and Carlos smiled, kissing his palm. “Let me show you.” Carlos nodded emphatically and said yes out loud just in case Cecil didn’t have the message clearly enough and Cecil laughed. It sounded just like church bells.

Cecil kissed down Carlos’s face and rubbed his cheeks on Carlos’s curly and wild stubble under his chin. He was so gentle and perfect that Carlos felt more like becoming part of the bed’s natural landscape the more Cecil’s hands massaged him under his scars and on his hips and then his thighs and--oh--Carlos lost his train of thought when Cecil kissed the outside of his boxers. Carlos bit his thick bottom lip and Cecil’s black eyes glittered when he looked up again. “Is this okay, gorgeous?” Cecil asked as he kissed his dark thighs some more. Carlos knew he wouldn’t get tired of seeing Cecil between his legs like this. He nodded and Cecil lifted up his hips to roll off his boxers. Carlos could feel him inhale his musk and god that was so dirty his brain broke. When Cecil sucked and lapped at his cock and just barely on his wet lips exactly the way he liked, it broke even more, and he clutched Cecil’s straight, black hair for dear life. The size and shape didn’t even phase him or make him hesitate for one second. Cecil seemed more familiar with his body than even Carlos did, bringing his thin fingers to tease Carlos’s hole without even asking him to.

“Ceeecil, you are. Dirty. Filthy. Asombroso, Dios mío--” He hoped he could last a long time like this -- or if not last, then at least come several times with him. He wanted Cecil to make love to him forever, and the whine he made when Cecil pulled away felt totally justified. Cecil’s tongue might have been slightly longer than average, but he wasn’t there long enough to know for sure.

“Would you like it if I was inside you?” Cecil asked against his jawbone, making Carlos shiver.

“Yeah--yes, yeah.” He got Cecil a condom out of his side drawer (the box of which he had bought while standing in line in front of one of the Erikas and could literally feel the Eye of God as he made his purchase, but that was another story.) Carlos pulled down Cecil’s boxers slowly and yep, totally normally down there, which made him hum scientifically. Cecil started glowing and blushing more now that he was naked. Carlos rolled the condom on as he smiled up at him, and Cecil smiled back and kissed him on the lips, letting Carlos taste himself. This was possibly the most comfortable he’d ever been with someone in his bed, Carlos thought.

“Carlos,” Cecil said against his mouth as he rubbed his cock on Carlos’s lips and front hole. He was so wet that he could hear it as Cecil shifted and his ears burned hot. Cecil had done so well making him a mess that it didn’t hurt at all when he pushed in. Carlos’s legs locked behind his back and sighed happily up towards his ceiling. He was totally fine with Cecil being gentle, but Cecil was treating him like he was going to break, and Carlos needed more. He grabbed Cecil by the hips and made him thrust harder. All of Cecil’s long hair fell on Carlos’s shoulders and most of the rest of the room was blocked out save Cecil’s face that was currently worried with concentration. He was glowing more and though the rest of Carlos’s room was dark, Cecil’s body was aglow and he could see down his chest to where he was pressed deep into him. Carlos loved that. He touched down Cecil’s chest and abdomen to feel the space being shared between them.

Carlos’s head fell onto the pillow as Cecil pinched Carlos’s cock between his fingers and stroked him off. Carlos couldn’t make his body sit still as he rushed to meet every one of Cecil’s stuttered thrusts. He came, or he might have come already, or he might have just kept coming around Cecil’s cock as he lost all sense of himself for white-hot ecstasy. He just clutched Cecil’s shoulders and held on until Cecil had let go of his cock to focus on his own pleasure. Cecil kept saying his name against his collarbone and shoulders and Carlos thought he had never heard anything so pretty as his own name in this strange, wonderful man’s voice. He felt Cecil come with a shake and they were left panting against each other’s lips as they came back down to earth, or something like earth.

Cecil cleaned up quickly and jumped back in bed, making Carlos giggle and grab him into a big naked hug. “That was really wonderful,” Carlos said into Cecil’s shimmering shoulder, and Cecil hugged him a little tighter.

“Your hair’s all messy,” Cecil said fretfully,trying to tame his curly afro back into its everyday shape but to no avail. Carlos couldn’t help but laugh and he rubbed right up against Cecil’s shoulder. He got several kisses on the face. It was way too warm laying on Cecil like this but he didn’t care. He wanted to be close. “I want to do that so many times. Can I? You’re so beautiful.”

Carlos gushed and hid his face again but Cecil tilted up his chin and kissed him and kissed him and kissed him. The next morning Carlos couldn’t remember falling asleep, and for the first night since moving to Night Vale he didn’t wake up from nightmares. Cecil was snoozing peacefully. If Carlos noticed one or two more limbs on him than the day previously he didn’t mention it, letting Cecil doze away.


End file.
